sorry it has been a few days since my last post. it has been a really rough few days. raymond has been having a really hard time. to say he has been emotional is an understatement. yesterday he screamed for 4.5 hours straight. and i am not talking about crying like a normal cry, i mean screaming till he is gaging and throwing up. one minute he wants nothing to do with me and the next he is wanting me to hold him and then a second later thrashing our of my arms again. i have never seen anything like it. i think he is confused about everything that is going on and all of the changes are really overwhelming. last night after i got him to sleep i went outside and cried for at least an hour. this is so much harder than i had imagined.i have been praying for strength, and for god to show me the right way to help raymond.
Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5
last night i came across this verse and it gave me some hope and encouragement to face the day today. today was a little bit better. definitely not perfect, but not as hard as yesterday. we had some really great moments together and fewer breakdowns. he told me he loved me again at bedtime tonight and he shared kisses with me several times throughout the day!
we did some laundry today. i tried to sneak away to get it done quickly, but raymond noticed after about 2 minutes that i was gone and he started to panic so i had a big helper with the wash. this was a first for me, i have never done laundry by hand before, it was interesting. raymond managed to get soaked from head to toe and he got into paint when i wasn't looking and covered himself in it. when i walked inside to get something to clean it off he stuck his hands into the wash basin and got paint all over the clothes. we still don't have running water in the house so it was lots of fun trying to clean him up outside with cold rain water!!! oh, the memories that i will never forget!! raymonds legs are still milky looking from the paint! also the paint didn't come out of the clothes that i was washing, i guess i will try again at home.
i did make it to friday market and found some great buys, including drums for the boys. raymond LOVES his drum. he plays it constantly, and sings of course. it is amazing how well he plays, he really plays the beat of the song he is singing. he usually sits in his elephant chair when he is playing, so cute!
***pray for raymond, he needs all our prayers***
*pray for our last test at the doctors tomorrow morning
*pray we get the last of our paperwork tomorrow
*pray we get water, we are on day 10 without water (except for one afternoon)
*pray we get a quick visa appointment
I am praying!!!! Hope things get better. YES- think of all the memories you have now...and when you get home how womderful it will feel to be with friends and family.
ReplyDeletePraying that everything works in your favor this week and you are home soon! Im sorry that you had such a tough day yesterday! I hope each day gets easier...and I wish that I was there to give you a hug when you need it most.
ReplyDeleteI sent the photos of Max to your email, I hope that you got them!
Love, Angela
Thanks for the update, dear sister!!! It's helpful to know how to pray! We will pray these things faithfully!!! Praying for bonding and peace from the Spirit for his little heart! May Jesus give him peace and hope and trust and faith that surpasses his little understanding!!! And may He give you wisdom and discernment, faith, and hope that is quick and pointed in loving Raymond and caring for him!!! May His power be seen and known even more through this! Bless you and your sweet family!
ReplyDeleteYou are certainly going to have some bragging rights and "been there done that's" when you get back. Your moms right... Your days there will sum like the other greatest days (hours) when we were getting Max. Hang in there... This too shall pass and make the best of what you are experiencing. You WILL be home soon. Max and I end our evenings on this blog and pray for you and what is meant to be. We love U!
ReplyDeleteHang in there. We're praying for you here at the McD house. That first adjustment/attachment period is so hard. It's harder than a newborn, and there's really no way to prepare or understand it until you're in it. Praying you get patience, endurance and rest. You're doing awesome!
ReplyDeleteStumbled upon your blog-we are in the process of adopting from Uganda. Will be praying that you find joy in all of this, even the worst of times. Also for Raymond-as you adjust together! May God continue to grant you sweet, sweet times with your precious boy! oh and water too:)
ReplyDeletePraying for you both! Steph, you certainly have a lot to go through right now. I sure look up to you for having to handle all that. There is nothing what could have prepared you for all that. And as your mom always says:"You have to play it by ear." I can't imagine how hard it must be for you when Raymond is screaming so badly. Because you know, you're there for his best. But I agree with you, at his age there is so much he knows already and now his own little world and live just doesn't seem to be the same anymore, everything changes and he has lots of stress handling all of it. Hang in there! Be strong as you have been and always remember your days there are almost count. You will be home soon!It might not get easier at home but then you have Andy, Max and the rest of your familie around you to support you. My thoughts are with you. I sent you a big big hug again and lots of love...
ReplyDeleteAntje